February 10, 2010

Ayyyy, Chihuahua!

“Lupita you seem awfully sleepy today. Are you sick?”

“No, I just can’t wake up much, and why should I? I am really cold! And I am so bored, I need some new toys.”

“You mean besides two cats to chase and a big dog to annoy? Lupita, you have 5 toys of your own, you have taken over all of the cats 20 little catnip mice and sundry small toys, all of Dash’s toys. You have toys strewn across the entire house. Big toys, little toys, in-between toys.”

“Ah Mom. You don’t unnerstand. I need a new toy for every day. And it is so cold in my ancestral homeland. I only have two outfits. I need more clothes. People are going to think I’m a poor dog from the wrong side of the tracks. Besides now that I am growing my clothes are starting to shrink.”

“Lupita, I used to think that Chihuahuas were ugly, stupid, yappy little dogs, and maybe they still are, but you make a really cute puppy. I so admire your fat little hairless belly, your curly pig tail, your floppy ears that are too big for your head, your bulgy little eyeballs and your sweet little face that looks like a cross between a bat and a worried old lady with frown lines. I never knew a dog before that could sit in your lap and think it was a cat.”

Comparing Lupita's face to that of a bat

“I just like to lick everyone. Licking is good—it makes friends.”

“Lupita, you know the cats do not like being licked on the face. Why do you chase the cats so much anyway? First you lick them, and then you bite them.”

“Hah! It is my plan to keep them confused. When they wants to hit me then I run around in front of them chasing my tail. It is so fun. But my most fun is to run in little circles around the trees in the backyard.”

“By the way Lupita, you know how Winnie is called Sour Pickle for the condescending attitude he gets, and Dash is called Sweet Pickle because he always wants to please us, well speaking of names in that regard yours is Little Tickle, because you tickle my heart.”

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